There is no doubt having a relationship breakup is an extremely traumatic experience to go through. Your life is suddenly turned upside down. The person you rely on for loving support has gone and of course this will leave a substantial hole in both your life and heart. It could have been on the cards or perhaps it was a very bad surprise but however it took place the main aim now is surviving the first few days, starting self healing and concentrating your mind on what you want to do next.

Sometimes people will completely flip when a loved one finishes with them. They will scream, insult and swear at their ex and sometimes really act like crazy people. This kind of behavior is quite normal, as is the opposite reaction, being that of quiet shock. There is no real way to know how you will cope in this kind of situation, especially so if you had no idea it was coming. Reactions are just immediate, in-built responses to situations we find ourselves in and as we are all individual, with differing circumstances, there is a very wide range and intensity of reaction.

It may be difficult to do, but try to leave your behavior firmly in your past. This is not your main concern, but your future is. The reason for the breakup is also almost irrelevant too, in a way. Maybe you have treated your ex partner badly by having an affair or indulging in a dubious lifestyle, then start today anew and begin to improve your life. If you did nothing to alienate your ex but you have reason to believe the cause of the relationship breaking up was your partner cheating, or maybe you just grew apart by having differing views. Again, start this new era of your life proactively today. Take this time on your own as an opportunity to seek out new things that interest you - you must if necessary force yourself to go out, even to the local park for a walk, choosing some interesting books from the library or having a good workout or class at your health club, you will find it will become easier and more enjoyable each time.

The first thing to consider after your relationship breakup is the issue of getting back with your ex love. Do you really want to? Do you feel you have lost your great love, your real soulmate? Or, is it just a fear of being alone that is making you so desperate? There is no point pursuing a plan to get back with your ex if really you will just break up again in the near future. You need to be sure this person is your true love. If you are totally sure about your ex and want to get back together then do not under any circumstances reveal any of this to your ex. If you do not really feel you have lost the love of your life then start to mentally move on, nurse your heartache, reconnect with your social life and emerge from this experience a more rounded and emotionally capable person.

For those totally focused on getting back with an ex, the first stage in the reconciliation plan is rather strangely to cut all contact completely and immediately. This does mean no contact in every sense, no texts, emails, calls, strategic accidental meetings and certainly no 'stalking' your ex. Do not flout the rules by using any friends or relatives to contact you ex either. The simple act of the no contact rule will immediately cause your ex to wonder what you are doing or thinking. This is just human nature. He or she will likely be expecting you to try to contact and they will secretly be rather put out that you haven't done so. Planting a small seed of intrigue in your ex's mind gives you something to build on. Remember he or she finished with you because they had lost interest and did not want you any more - you have to change that by becoming a person they really desire and want to pursue and this is just the start of the process.

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